Men Dribbling into Their Beards

Inspired by Women Laughing Alone at Salad and Women Struggling to Drink Water, I realized that men must be feeling left out. In a spirit of inclusiveness, I give you “Men Dribbling into Their Beards.” Embed from Getty Images Embed from Getty Images   Or their eyes:   Embed from Getty Images Embed from Getty Read More …

Humor

“You are so funny!” It always surprises me when someone says that; I can’t be funny on command, but I definitely have a sense of humor and am in tune with the ridiculous. Physical comedy – slapstick – makes my skin crawl, but puns delight me. My son was amused (and appalled) that I knew Read More …

Berries, Bananas, and a Blender

Berries, bananas, and a blender make the best breakfast smoothie – not to mention an alliterative alimentary awakening! Just combine one cup of skim milk, one banana (fresh or frozen), and about 1/2 cup of frozen, mixed berries in a blender and blend till smooth. Add 28g of Kellogg’s All Bran Buds, ground to a Read More …

You Need Kibbles for Your Pet Peeves?

Telling others they’re doing it wrong must be the world’s oldest hobby. Bloggers have raised it to an art form, “Liked,” shared, and re-tweeted around the world a hundred times. I’m not about to quibble with Mitch Mitchell’s “9 Things People Do Wrong On Social Media” – I agree with most of them! – but Read More …

Hike WHO? Oh, Haiku!

It’s a wonder the Japanese haven’t squished us with the giant flyswatter of disdain for grossly oversimplifying haiku. “Oh, it’s easy! Just three lines. First line’s got five syllables, next has seven, last one’s got five. See? Anyone can write haiku.” Cultural appropriation at its worst, if you ask me. Rarely is it mentioned to Read More …

Like Fireflies in a Pickle Jar

“What the hell just happened back there?” I asked. “You two have a history, don’t you? How’d I get dragged into this? Talk to me, Emmett, or I swear to God I’ll hire a car, drive back to Houston, and leave you here.” The old woman had kicked us out of the courtyard after foisting Read More …

Breaking “Rule 21”: Saying Nice Things About Pussy

Well, not mine – I don’t blog about mine and we’ve already established I don’t have any pets. But pussy here has good taste in men, and she’s not about to put up with anyone grabbing her without explicit consent. She is unmoved by fame, fortune, and notoriety. In fact, she’ll stare you down and Read More …

Breaking “Rule 26”: Blogging Pithy Quotes

I’m pretty sure I proposed Rule 26 before Justin Halpern came up with “Shit My Dad Says” and raised breaking rules to a highly lucrative art form. It’s probably a good idea, if you’re going to follow Justin’s lead, to let Dad in on it – otherwise, he’s going to be very surprised to find Read More …

Breaking “Rule 27”: Blogging as Journal of the Mundane

Dickens began David Copperfield with, “I am born.” Who’s to say that the daily-journal musings of the most ordinary blogger are not tomorrow’s great works of enduring literature? There will, perhaps, be a great nuclear fireball, leaving no library unscathed – and this, this record of the dull and dreary, day-to-day trudge through an essentially Read More …

Breaking “Rule 28”: Blogging Nasty Things About the Ex-Whatever

Have you ever skated on thin ice? It’s a rush, isn’t it? I used to skate on a little neighborhood lake. In the middle of the lake, there was an island. The water never freezes hard right at the edge of the shore, so it laps over the top of it, resurfacing several yards around Read More …

Breaking “Rule 30”: Blogging About My Sex Life

Second rule to break, and already I’m having second thoughts about this whole blog series. Some things, you just don’t–well, okay, here, hold my beer while I break “Rule 30” and talk about my sex life. My kids may kill me for this. I taught my daughter about “the birds and the bees” when she Read More …

Breaking “Rule 31”: Blogging About Co-workers

I’ve already broken the cardinal rule of social media – the one that says, “Do not Friend your coworkers on Facebook, and for the love of all that’s holy, never Friend your boss or blog about work.” No one wants to be dooced, even if Heather A. swears she never was. And yet, if you can’t be friends Read More …