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Currently Browsing: Humor

Hike WHO? Oh, Haiku!

It’s a wonder the Japanese haven’t squished us with the giant flyswatter of disdain for grossly oversimplifying haiku. “Oh, it’s easy! Just three lines. First line’s got five syllables, next has seven, last one’s got five. See? Anyone can write haiku.” Cultural appropriation at its worst, if you ask me. Rarely is it mentioned to the budding poet-blossom that... read more

Like Fireflies in a Pickle Jar

“What the hell just happened back there?” I asked. “You two have a history, don’t you? How’d I get dragged into this? Talk to me, Emmett, or I swear to God I’ll hire a car, drive back to Houston, and leave you here.” The old woman had kicked us out of the courtyard after foisting her “seven year warranty” on me and refusing me a refund on the PC from... read more

Breaking “Rule 21”: Saying Nice Things About Pussy

Well, not mine – I don’t blog about mine and we’ve already established I don’t have any pets. But pussy here has good taste in men, and she’s not about to put up with anyone grabbing her without explicit consent. She is unmoved by fame, fortune, and notoriety. In fact, she’ll stare you down and if the claws come out, I guarantee you’ll flinch first. This pussy... read more

Breaking “Rule 26”: Blogging Pithy Quotes

I’m pretty sure I proposed Rule 26 before Justin Halpern came up with “Shit My Dad Says” and raised breaking rules to a highly lucrative art form. It’s probably a good idea, if you’re going to follow Justin’s lead, to let Dad in on it – otherwise, he’s going to be very surprised to find himself played on national TV by the likes of William Shatner. If you... read more

Breaking “Rule 27”: Blogging as Journal of the Mundane

Dickens began David Copperfield with, “I am born.” Who’s to say that the daily-journal musings of the most ordinary blogger are not tomorrow’s great works of enduring literature? There will, perhaps, be a great nuclear fireball, leaving no library unscathed – and this, this record of the dull and dreary, day-to-day trudge through an essentially comfortable and... read more

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