There’s No Place Like 127.0.0.1

“Come on, Emmett, let’s go home.” New Orleans, bright and colorful and smelling of beignets and stale booze and coffee, now seemed soured and sinister. “You don’t want to explore the city while we’re here? It’s strange how much – and how little – has changed.” Emmett’s gaze traveled 360 degrees to take in all Read More …

Like Sand Through the Motherboard

As we walked the streets of the French Quarter, I continued to ponder the plot, idly wondering which of Grimm’s fairy tales I was living. Perhaps I wasn’t living; perhaps I’d fallen, hit my head, and was somewhere hooked up to life support… I struggled to keep up with Emmett’s longer stride, and realized that if Read More …

Like Fireflies in a Pickle Jar

“What the hell just happened back there?” I asked. “You two have a history, don’t you? How’d I get dragged into this? Talk to me, Emmett, or I swear to God I’ll hire a car, drive back to Houston, and leave you here.” The old woman had kicked us out of the courtyard after foisting Read More …

Madame and the Warranty

The beignets were certainly as good as I remembered them. Warm, slightly chewy dough, deep-fried and liberally dusted with powdered sugar, they practically melted in my mouth. The coffee was strong enough to hold up to milk and sharpened all my senses. “So, you know New Orleans?” I was grasping for the connection. “Of course. Read More …

It’s…Different on the Inside

We began to roll out of the driveway. Emmett examined the dashboard with great interest.He fiddled with the AC knob and radio seek buttons, startling himself as the radio landed on a rather loud Death Metal station. “First car trip?” I asked. There would likely be a lot of firsts, all within the first hour Read More …

Getting to Know You, Getting to Know All About You

Barefoot and dressed only in a thin black tank top and California Crazee pants, I made a beeline for the coffee maker. My new friend was already up, trying to figure out how to use the satellite and DVR with its six remotes – each of them having one or more unique functions and about Read More …

The Challenge

“The challenge,” Prunebutt mused, “is not to think too far ahead.” It referred, of course, to my compulsive, headlong commitment to things like NaBloPoMo and NaNoWriMo. I used to refer to these as “Nah, go blow me” and “Nah, no wri’ mo…” but I’ve stuck with the latter, more out of a sense of tradition Read More …

Breaking “Rule 23”: A (Not So) Recent Sexual (Mis)Adventure!

Define “recent.” I could certainly make one up. I once volunteered to run an Adult Writing Workshop. I had no idea what I was signing up for – and when I realized that “Adult Writing Workshop” was a euphemism for “Erotica” or “Porn,” I just gamely carried on – I’d agreed to do it and Read More …

Breaking “Rule 25”: Naming Names and Kickin’ Butt

You’re worried, aren’t you? Why should I name my enemies, only to have them summoned, like Beetlejuice? Oh, right – I’m going to do it in the name of breaking all 31 of my blogging rules! Many years ago, I visited a “psychic” out of curiosity. This wasn’t a spiritualist, like in Cassadaga – this Read More …

Breaking “Rule 26”: Blogging Pithy Quotes

I’m pretty sure I proposed Rule 26 before Justin Halpern came up with “Shit My Dad Says” and raised breaking rules to a highly lucrative art form. It’s probably a good idea, if you’re going to follow Justin’s lead, to let Dad in on it – otherwise, he’s going to be very surprised to find Read More …

Here, Hold My Beer – Watch Me Break Blogging Rules I Created!

After I posted “31 Ways NOT to Use Your Blog,” many of you goaded me, egged me on, encouraged me in my mischievous plan to write a series of posts wherein I break blogging rules I created as a tongue in cheek response to Microsoft’s proposal for “31 Ways to Use Your Blog” over a Read More …