Reverse Search: For Everything (and Everyone) You’d Rather Lose

Facebook, this morning, decided that I should search for Donald Trump, based on the posts I’d interacted with. Once I got past the visual of me batting around a Facebook post like a cat bats around a mouse, two things occurred to me:

First, this is the problem with companies assuming they know you so well, based on your online shopping patterns and behaviors. (Arguably, my credit card company has me mostly figured out, and the occasional call to see if an out of character purchase was really mine is a good thing. Slightly Big Brotherish and creepy, but it is usually a good thing.)

Second, not only do I not need to search for “donald trump,” I’d really like to see a lot less of him in my news feed – he’s everywhere, these days. Why would you need to search for him? This gave me a brilliant idea!

REVERSE SEARCH!! For when you really just want to LOSE someone or something.

All humor aside, the posts I “interacted with” are well worth reading:

Sean Blanda’s, The “Other Side” Is Not Dumb: “Sharing links that mock a caricature of the Other Side isn’t signaling that we’re somehow more informed. It signals that we’d rather be smug assholes than consider alternative views. It signals that we’d much rather show our friends that we’re like them, than try to understand those who are not.”


I went to a Trump rally in my hijab. His supporters aren’t just racist caricatures, by Kaddie Abdul, who has more patience than I do – though I aspire to be more like her in my willingness and ability to listen to “the other side.” Here’s a small excerpt:

His supporters are people, not caricatures. They feel marginalized economically, politically, and socially; they see a world different from the one they think should exist. Many non-Trump supporters are also concerned about the current economic and political state of our planet and its implications for a stabile future for our children.

What differentiates me from many of the Trump supporters I met this weekend is that their concerns for our future have led to an overwhelming need to see all of our problems as someone else’s fault.

These two articles, together, share a theme of empathy and reconciliation that makes them worth a thoughtful read; I hope we’re not all past being willing to listen to, and try to understand, one another.


Holly Jahangiri is the author of Trockle; A Puppy, Not a Guppy; Innocents & Demons; and A New Leaf for Lyle. You can find her books on Amazon at For more information on her children's books, please visit
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14 thoughts on “Reverse Search: For Everything (and Everyone) You’d Rather Lose”

  1. As usual, I will vote for whomever I consider to be the best candidate once they have been selected and it’s election day. I may send a few bucks to the right party (in my mind).

    But the ability to care deeply over things you can’t control was lost to me along with a great many other things 27 years ago, and IF I have some energy today that is not sucked up by something that REALLY needs to be done, I write with it.

    Priorities go to what I, with my limited resources, can affect. It’s not a bad system, evne if it HAS been forced on me.

    Reverse search is easily done by using the ‘-‘ sign in front of a search term. How you keep from having to do it every time you search, I do not know.
    Alicia Butcher Ehrhardt recently posted…Welcome to Pride’s Children – Sign up to be notified for Book TwoMy Profile

  2. I do like the feature on Facebook that lets us decline to see any more posts from certain account holders, even if those posts are shared by a friend. That’s sort of a reverse search…

    Serious articles by serious people from “the other side” are welcome reading because I like to know what people think and feel about the issues. However, I really hate the mocking memes that swamp my news feed, no matter who the subject is. In my humble opinion, they are ignorant and display a lack of respect for those who don’t agree with the account holder’s point of view.
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    1. Well said. I guess Facebook does one or two things right! I agree with you. I haven’t hidden or muted many people – I’m actually really good at ignoring the newsfeed altogether, or skimming past things I don’t want to see. But I do appreciate diverse perspectives and opinions, if they’re respectful and kind to others.

  3. You live in the USA, and complain that the news media seems to be running a 24/7 Trump Fest. Gads. He is (in)famous up here in Canada! You mean it is WORSE south of the border?

    Well, when he gets elected, may I send you a list of Canuck cities you might like? BC has some nice places. So do the Maritimes, tho there is way too much snow there. Alberta is down economically right now, but is much like Texas. Still, there is Saskatchewan and Manitoba. Not much else to see up here. It is a very small place. 6000 miles wide by 200 miles high, roughly. Think California, horizontally.

    All the more reason for you to “FEEL the Bern”, no? And Cruz, well Cruz, as far as we can tell, makes Trump look good. And Hillary? The Ice Queen is just too greedy and lusty for power. She scares me. Too establishment, too much into money. Between Trump and Hillary, I would go for Trump. So please Feel the Bern! And this is from someone who is dirt poor, who if it were not illegal, would send the man $5, but does not want your country launching cruise missiles.

  4. Your visions are different from other on social media 🙂 :). People like him or hate him does not matter, The thing that matters more is why everyone is talking about Mr.Trump.

    I found Social media is a big manipulator in today’s time. People get influence very easily just after watching image or read quotes online, even they never tried to find out whether content are real or fake. Search Algorithm are they main reason why this happening.
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    1. The media (social and otherwise) has always had the power (and, often as not, the will) to manipulate people. And I think the more we imagine ourselves immune to it, or too smart to be so manipulated, the more we are, in fact, manipulated.

      Having watched Trump over decades – not closely, mind you, as until recently he’s not been the least bit interesting to me – I’d have to say the only person I can think of that I’d like LESS in the White House right now is Ted Cruz. I get why everyone’s talking about Trump – he’s voicing popular frustration with “the establishment” in Washington, D.C. and the establishment is in a bit of a panic over just how much support he’s got. He wasn’t supposed to win. They underestimated just how frustrated the constituents were, and they’re no longer firmly in control of their own spin.

      I don’t know that most people search to find facts so much as they search for things that bolster and confirm their bias. It’s a natural thing to want to be right. The more rational approach is to try to find all the arguments against us and find out if we really ARE right, but I’m not so sure the majority of people are capable of being that rational. They’d prefer to cherry-pick the evidence or bend it to make it fit. As my dad used to joke, “My mind’s made up, don’t confuse me with facts!”
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      1. That’s an excellent article on economics (which is much harder for me to understand than social media – given social media is largely influenced by psychology). I don’t think there’s any “maybe” about social media and psychological games (which everybody plays and gets played at some point). One of the interesting things to watch is people insisting they’re not influenced by media of any sort – it’s a point of pride to think so, but I think they’re the most vulnerable of all, because they are either unaware of it or simply in denial. My mom used to say “The worst sort of snob is an anti-snob.” The most vulnerable to media manipulation is the one who thinks he’s far too intelligent to BE manipulated, and so refuses to think about the ways in which he already is.

  5. Charles Bukowski well said “The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.”

    😀 😀 😀

    My point with the article is only this.. Why we discuss other peoples, who even does not have any concerned in our life. Example celebrities link up or breakup, politicians speeches etc. The way media present it on social media (tv, internet, radio) is huge dramatically event and everyone start judging according to media reports, picture or video they see online.

    Sometime I believe becoming hippie is much better..ha ha ha 😀 😀
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    1. Oh, absolutely! Well… we’re told we shouldn’t talk too much about ourselves, lest we look narcissistic. So we talk about others.

      But I agree with you. I could not care less about who some celebrity is dating, sleeping with, or doing drugs with these days. I have a passing interest in their cute babies and knowing that they’re embracing their core values and not trying to fit back into the size 0 skinny jeans – choosing, instead, to romp on the beach with little ones. Now, if it were a competition among them to be the BEST role model for our teens – it might be fun to see the creative ways they do good in the world. Always interesting to hear what the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation or Jimmy Carter are up to these days. Too bad such things get drowned out in the mediocre, mundane, and miserable gossip that passes for “news.” Interviews can be mildly interesting, especially when they show that these folks are just human. Mostly, it seems like they spend a lot of time posing in expensive clothes, in front of a wall full of logos.

      That said, politicians are different – they DO have the potential to affect our lives. We should pay more attention to them. But I don’t care who they’re sleeping with, either. I only care about what they think they can or should do for this country and their constituents (or TO them).
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