Breaking “Rule 21”: Saying Nice Things About Pussy

Well, not mine – I don’t blog about mine and we’ve already established I don’t have any pets. But pussy here has good taste in men, and she’s not about to put up with anyone grabbing her without explicit consent. She is unmoved by fame, fortune, and notoriety. In fact, she’ll stare you down and Read More …

Breaking “Rule 23”: A (Not So) Recent Sexual (Mis)Adventure!

Define “recent.” I could certainly make one up. I once volunteered to run an Adult Writing Workshop. I had no idea what I was signing up for – and when I realized that “Adult Writing Workshop” was a euphemism for “Erotica” or “Porn,” I just gamely carried on – I’d agreed to do it and Read More …

Breaking “Rule 24”: Dust Bunnies

What’s this about dust bunnies? Rule #24 says you shouldn’t “post pictures of the dust bunnies under your bed. Unless you mount them on colored paper, immortalize them on digital media, Photoshop them, and call them ‘art.’ You see what I did, there? I broke the rule before I made the rule. I had already created this little e-card gem Read More …

Breaking “Rule 25”: Naming Names and Kickin’ Butt

You’re worried, aren’t you? Why should I name my enemies, only to have them summoned, like Beetlejuice? Oh, right – I’m going to do it in the name of breaking all 31 of my blogging rules! Many years ago, I visited a “psychic” out of curiosity. This wasn’t a spiritualist, like in Cassadaga – this Read More …

Breaking “Rule 26”: Blogging Pithy Quotes

I’m pretty sure I proposed Rule 26 before Justin Halpern came up with “Shit My Dad Says” and raised breaking rules to a highly lucrative art form. It’s probably a good idea, if you’re going to follow Justin’s lead, to let Dad in on it – otherwise, he’s going to be very surprised to find Read More …

Breaking “Rule 27”: Blogging as Journal of the Mundane

Dickens began David Copperfield with, “I am born.” Who’s to say that the daily-journal musings of the most ordinary blogger are not tomorrow’s great works of enduring literature? There will, perhaps, be a great nuclear fireball, leaving no library unscathed – and this, this record of the dull and dreary, day-to-day trudge through an essentially Read More …

Breaking “Rule 28”: Blogging Nasty Things About the Ex-Whatever

Have you ever skated on thin ice? It’s a rush, isn’t it? I used to skate on a little neighborhood lake. In the middle of the lake, there was an island. The water never freezes hard right at the edge of the shore, so it laps over the top of it, resurfacing several yards around Read More …

Breaking “Rule 29”: Blogging About Bodily Functions/Fluids

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Were you aware of that? Okay, let’s dispense with all that cutesy pink, and talk frankly. I’m a “survivor.” I feel like cancer took up too many clock-cycles already; it’s not the all-consuming thing looming on my brain these days. But when women ask me, “How did you find it? How Read More …

Breaking “Rule 30”: Blogging About My Sex Life

Second rule to break, and already I’m having second thoughts about this whole blog series. Some things, you just don’t–well, okay, here, hold my beer while I break “Rule 30” and talk about my sex life. My kids may kill me for this. I taught my daughter about “the birds and the bees” when she Read More …

Breaking “Rule 31”: Blogging About Co-workers

I’ve already broken the cardinal rule of social media – the one that says, “Do not Friend your coworkers on Facebook, and for the love of all that’s holy, never Friend your boss or blog about work.” No one wants to be dooced, even if Heather A. swears she never was. And yet, if you can’t be friends Read More …

31 Ways Not to Use Your Blog #FridayReflections

Writing is a meditation. It is the communication, from one mind to another, that which lives entirely within the imagination. It is an act of creation. It is art. It is part of what it means to be human. But as they say, “If a tree falls in the woods, and there is no one Read More …