That’s right.
I have been doing battle with 3.0 brain-eating zombies. First, they infected my blog and made it shamble along like one of them. “Braaaaaaaaains…” moaned the blog. I knew something was desperately wrong. I tried to do the Time Warp, but only succeeded in getting all the clocks in my house to blink at annoyingly different rates while displaying an insane range of numbers that reflected the time zones of all my blogging friends.
“Braaaaaaaaaains…” intoned the microwave.
“I need a bendy straw,” squeaked the VCR.
“All your base are belong to us!” cried the blog.
“I quit!” I yelled, and pulled the plug. A little too literally, as it turns out. A Bic and a bottle of 151 would’ve shown more finesse. What was it my dad used to say? “Don’t force brute thugs?” Oh, wait… “Don’t force mechanical parts.” That’s it. Well, the zombies looked pretty mechanical as they advanced mindlessly across the screen. I figured deleting their hidey hole and uninstalling WordPress ought to do the trick – after all, I’d just moved everything a week ago, so how hard could it be to reconstruct?
Turns out it was more like resurrecting the dead, and for that – I had to call in the Voodoo Zombie Killer, himself. Jaypee of JaypeeOnline.net.
Dang, that man’s good. He fixed my world and banished those 3.0 evil zombies while I sat in a corner sucking down the 151 and flicking my Bic. (I was convinced I looked oh-so-menacing, at the time, but it turns out zombies are just too mindless to be menaced. Who knew?) Anyway, thanks to Jaypee, I still have a blog. And the weirdest sense of deja vu.
Holly Jahangiri has decades of experience in tech writing, freelancing, fiction, poetry, and editing. Writer, wife, and mother, Holly is the creator of Trockle and instigator of the Puppy-Guppy Rebellion.
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