Is your spambot – your automated spam generator – making you look like an idiot? I know it’s tempting to find new and innovative ways to be lazy when you’re a spammer, splogger, or scam artist, but the rest of us would appreciate just a little more effort than this. Look what I found in my spam bucket:
Well I {really|truly|sincerely|definitely} {enjoyed|liked} {reading|studying} it. This {information|tip|post|article|subject} {provided|offered|procured} by you is very {useful|practical|helpful|constructive|effective} for {proper|accurate|correct|go…
I’m still learning from you, as I’m improving myself. I absolutely liked reading everything that is posted on your website.Keep the aarticles coming. I loved it!…
What is that, like, Madlibs for Spam? Darlin’, you need it. Left to your own devices, you can’t even spell “articles.” Hint – it’s not next to “aardvark” in the dictionary. Two could play at this game:
I {laughingly|derisively|contemptuously|disdainfully} read your “spomment” {this afternoon|this morning|this evening|while sitting on the potty} and immediately thought, “What a {freak|fool|idiot|crazy spammer|superficial, soulless, uncreative waste of oxygen}.” While I’ve learned absolutely nothing from you, and remain utterly unconvinced that you are {improving yourself|capable of higher reasoning|likely ever to come back and read my reply|contributing anything useful to the gene pool}, I hope you’re having a frustrating day, trying to get any blog moderator worth a fig to approve your {insipid|useless|insincere|insulting|boring|laughable} comments. Have a nice day.
And if you happen to {write|produce|market|sell} any of the {software|crapware|malware|unethical apps} that enable people to make such fools of themselves in public, you really ought to {stop now|find a real job|move out of your mommy’s basement|go soak your head in the toilet}.
Take note: CommentLuv Premium dumped this right into my spam bucket. I only quote it here for educational and entertainment purposes. I won’t deign to give it link juice, and thanks to CommentLuv, it really would have gone largely unnoticed had I not been {somewhat amused|so amazed at the stupidity|intent on picking on spammers|bored}.
About the Author
Holly Jahangiri is a professional writer with over twenty years’ experience in technical writing, freelancing, fiction, poetry, and editing. Writer, wife, and mother, Holly is the creator of Trockle and the instigator of the Puppy-Guppy Rebellion.
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Yikes! For a second, I thought you were calling me out! LOL I did send a similar comment when we were discussing plagiarism.
When I looked closely, I realized that mine was better.
That is truly a piece of work – a mal-functioning spambot!
Cheers,
Mitch
Mitchell Allen would appreciate your reading The Hunt for Red-capped Plover
LOL – I can tell the difference between satire and stupidity, Mitch.
Holly Jahangiri would appreciate your reading CommentLuv+ (Nothing ELSE Could Make Me Channel My Inner Billy Mays!)
Holly, the thing is, I used an online spinner to see what format to place the comment in. It looked exactly like what you posted – and I forgot that I didn’t send the MadLib format rather than the finished resulting plocket of a comment.
That’s why I did a double-take.
Cheers,
Mitch
Mitchell Allen would appreciate your reading The Tribe the Jungle and the Terrifying Idea
Haha…I figured you were just being a smart a**, imitating the spammers.
Holly Jahangiri would appreciate your reading Is Your Spambot Making You Look Like an Idiot?
That could account for why I had to fish it out of the spam folder, though, now that you mention it.
Holly Jahangiri would appreciate your reading Is Your Spambot Making You Look Like an Idiot?
With Akismet and a second spam catcher I finally stopped finding those kinds of “comments” in my spam filter and sometimes in my pending comments.
Ali Bierman would appreciate your reading Shocking Secret Reveals How to Stop Trying And Actually Live In Happiness
That is just one of the many techniques in sending spams. I haven’t encountered a spanned comment that was that obvious before. Comment luv was there again to save the day. Truly the best anti spam plugin so far.
Brian would appreciate your reading online dating book
Twitter: MarianAllen
says:
I had to turn my CommentLuv Premium spam-catcher off because I wasn’t getting any of these comments anymore. Akismet catches them and plops them firmly into my spam folder, where I can enjoy and share them. It would probably tell a therapist more than I want him/her to know about me, that I find these endlessly amusing.
Marian Allen would appreciate your reading October Update – Better Late Than Never
Twitter: HollyJahangiri
says:
You can customize G.A.S.P. to throw them into Spam (or Moderate) instead of trash. But for a lot of people, the action you describe would be a major plus!
Holly Jahangiri would appreciate your reading CommentLuv+ (Nothing ELSE Could Make Me Channel My Inner Billy Mays!)
Heh, that is hilarious. I have never gotten an un-parsed comment spam like that, all the ones I get are sufficiently random generated and annoying. Too bad when the spam bots glitch, it doesn’t throw the spam backwards and fill the spammers comment spool
VampireWiki Blog would appreciate your reading Phineas and Ferb Halloween Special
Wow, looks like there is some serious spambot going on here! That is really hilarious. Great article though, with true comment and no spambot
on my part 
Sylviane Nuccio would appreciate your reading Why Is It Important To Use Your Own Experience In Your Writing?
Twitter: HollyJahangiri
says:
Hi, Sylviane! Nice to see you here.
No, I doubt you could ever be mistaken for a spambot – you’re too lovely, by far, to pass for one of those shady characters! Now, I dunno about your teammates over there… but I’m pretty sure if they can pass my Akismet guards and CommentLuv reception desk, they’re just seedy characters – not spambots. 
That’s just freakin ridiculous.
Any variation of that spin would be a rubbish comment. What are these people thinking?
I put a Comments Policy together for these degenerate visitors (not just the spots, the speople too). But I know none of them will ever read it.
Achhhh… Thanks for the laugh though Holly
Jym would appreciate your reading Comments Policy
Please excuse me while I {laugh/cry/giggle/pee myself} after reading your {post/rant/piece/gloriousness}. I’ve come to {dislike/hate/pity} those who can’t take the time to {comment/write/think for themselves} on their own. I am totally going to {retweet/share/like/tell everyone I know about} this post.
AWESOME!!!
Christine Senter would appreciate your reading My Paranormal Idea
Lol, I love the spin tags. Why don’t we make one website, which change the words for the same article every day?
I am sure, this kind of spinning is very easy for Google to figure out.
Adam would appreciate your reading PhpHosting4free.com Moved to Server Cluster
Twitter: HollyJahangiri
says:
LOL!! Surely someone has already created such a thing, Adam? Kind of like a MadLibs web site… oooh, that could be fun, actually. You land on the page, enter the requested words (2 nouns, 6 verbs, 3 advjectives, etc.) and then spin the wheel… maybe you get your own, maybe someone else’s. Surprise! Hilarity ensues. Not very good for SEO, but amusing for about 10 minutes. Probably wouldn’t hurt the bounce rate much.