Now that that’s out of the way, let me assure you that I probably won’t. If you’re a living, breathing human being reading this, you are most welcome. Please, sit yourself down, have a read, and join the conversation. Don’t be shy. And it’s okay to debate ideas here – just play nice with others and don’t throw things.
If you’re a zombie, please don’t leave body parts on the rug or try to suck out the other commenters’ brains with a bendy straw.
If you’re a spammer, your comment is unlikely to make it past the gatekeepers. You will be tossed into the virtual moat. The moat is flushed daily.
If you are not a spammer, and the gatekeepers toss you unceremoniously into the moat, please accept my apologies! I do not closely review all comments that land in the moat (aka, spam folder) before deleting them, and occasionally, a non-spammy one falls in – or is pushed. I figure if there’s a problem and you don’t see your comment in a timely manner, you’ll let me know. Don’t whine to me that you can’t swim; the moat’s full of merfolk who believe in second chances. No one’s actually drowned. Yet.
If you are not a spammer but have come here hoping for a little back-link love from CommentLuv, it’s a bit trickier. I don’t care if your comment is Pulitzer-worthy, I’m not publishing it if it contains dodgy links. (Well, not on purpose, I’m not – and when I find them, I’ll delete them without blinking.) By “dodgy,” I mean anything about buying systems for making quick cash online, how to manipulate the opposite sex, webcams promising a peek at the prurient, payday loans, pharmaceuticals (particularly the sort one might buy if they were looking for a peek at the prurient), diet aids, extreme body modification (including laser-guided liposuction), any sort of footwear or handbags (I’ve doubled the guard at the rear and instructed them to make everyone remove their Uggs and drop their Michael Kors handbags in the moat), celebrity scandal rags (I really don’t care what Kim, Kanye, Miley, or the Biebs are up to, today – really)…
What, do you seriously think I don’t look? REAL blog posts are welcome. Ads masquerading as blog posts are not welcome. REAL blog posts containing actual experiences – reviews – of things you actually own (preferably with pictures of you using them, to prove you actually do have these experiences using them) are welcome, even if they incidentally contain an affiliate link or three. I don’t begrudge your making money online, so long as it’s not crass and spammy and probably fraudulent. And don’t think that if you slip by the gatekeepers once, it’s a guarantee you’ll do it again. I’ll push you in the moat, myself, when I catch you.
And I will catch you. 😉
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