Weird Wednesday Metrics

According to Alexa, nearly 30% of my blog’s search traffic comes from the query, “amoeba music.” A friend said that sounded like a so-so name for a band (as it turns out, it’s the name of an indie record store in Berkeley – which doesn’t begin to explain how anyone got here that way). I thought Paramecium was a catchier band name, although I wouldn’t rule out “Songs of the Amoeba” as the title of our debut album, or maybe “Judas Eukaryote” for the first single release. I think Marilyn Manson should direct the music video, just to ensure that it shows the darker side of things best viewed under a microscope.

Somewhat more realistically, these are the top (unencrypted) search terms that Google says led to my blog:

1. human health care
2. healthcare is a human right
3. costco all american chocolate cake
4. 4rv publishing
5. costco chocolate cake calories
6. healthcare as a human right
7. health care is a human right
8. “holly” fantasy hd
9. all american chocolate cake costco
10. cigarette eating trick
11. custom fields word 2010
12. calories in costco chocolate cake
13. custom document properties
14. custom document properties word 2010
15. emphasis style word 2013
16. healthcare is a right
17. right to healthcare
18. website illustrator
19. advanced properties word 2013
20. honelife

Get the feeling I should be charging Costco money for this? Or at least getting some kick-backs from their bakery? And maybe I should be teaching lessons in using Microsoft Word – to people in the healthcare industry?

I don’t perform the cigarette eating trick anymore.


Currently, this blog is ranked 106,205 in the U.S., and 414,540 worldwide. Visitors come from around the world, despite Alexa’s claim that 100% of them come from the U.S.. If you’re outside the U.S., you should resent that – but WordPress stats and StatCounter correctly show the international set. Top countries include: India, Canada, UK, Australia, Germany, Philippines, Mexico, Netherlands, Spain, Indonesia, South Africa, and Ireland.

And my plan for domination of the No-Niche Niche progresses nicely…




Holly Jahangiri is the author of Trockle; A Puppy, Not a Guppy; Innocents & Demons; and A New Leaf for Lyle. You can find her books on Amazon at For more information on her children's books, please visit
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6 thoughts on “Weird Wednesday Metrics”

    1. Nope. Nor do I. That’s what made it so funny. (Amoeba, yes – just search that, using my blog’s own search – that little magnifying glass on the menu bar – and you’ll be very sad. I wish they made music, instead.) WordPress and Google Analytics are much more accurate, as is StatCounter – and all three are free (at least for small potatoes, like me). But they don’t give you your relative ranking in the blogging world. And Pagerank is effectively dead, or so I’ve heard – so my 2 will never, ever be a 3 again. 🙁

      And I always get to this point and the little voice starts laughing, reminding me I don’t actually CARE, I just find it interesting and amusing. The perfect kind of stats and metrics – the ones you don’t really have to ever WORRY about.

    1. I hadn’t yet earned my 3 back after restarting this as a brand new blog, and I kept wondering what happened? Oddly, though, I didn’t wonder enough to figure out that Pagerank was dead as a doornail. Thanks to Mitch, I stopped chasing a stat that’s never going to go anywhere. 🙂 3 was a happy place, wasn’t it? All the best bloggers were PR3.
      HollyJahangiri recently posted…Spring! 1000 Words + a PictureMy Profile

      1. 3 was where most of the active and engaged personal bloggers tended to be. 4 was the folks who convinced everyone their online money-making schemes would actually make them money. 5 and above… hard to get to know them at all. 9-10 was the Fortune 500 (maybe the Fortune 50), for the most part. 0 was the bad boys who did something to get themselves Google-smacked, or bloggers too new to have any PR at all. 1-2 was mostly the inactive and the lost. The folks who blogged very inconsistently, but didn’t totally abandon the effort, and never promoted enough to get more than a few comments a month.

        I was working hard on restarting this blog right about the time Google abandoned PR updates – I didn’t realize they’d abandoned it, and I got a little discouraged being stuck in the 2s. 🙂 Thanks to @Mitch_M, I know better, now.
        Holly Jahangiri recently posted…Spring! 1000 Words + a PictureMy Profile

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