Could’ve been five, with the soap bottle.
I was so surprised to see diamonds dripping from the faucet, this morning, that I scorched the toast. Scorched toast is so brittle, so breakable; half of it crumbled into tiny bits that got washed into the drain, along with priceless diamond dust and a few good-sized chunks.
In the end, the drain backed up and the Dispose-All broke. I called a plumber. He fixed the sink, but it took the entire “clog” to pay the man.
He said, “Thanks,” and confided that it’ll go towards the very expensive engagement ring he was designing and the exotic, three-week honeymoon trip he was planning. He chuckled as he pocketed the rocks.
Wouldn’t it be ironic if, one day, his wife drops her precious diamond ring down their kitchen drain? On purpose?
Did I mention I’m a divorce attorney?