If I had a dime for every time someone says, “I’ve read up on the rules for a [some complex poetry form] and no [expletives deleted] way can I write that!” followed by, “Still, I kinda want to try it” I’d be rich. If I had another dime for every time I’ve said or thought it, myself, I wouldn’t be writing this – I’d be buying a very large yacht. My friend Necia said it best, when she wrote, “Sestinas are not the cute green-eyed tree frog. They’re the formaldehyde-soaked bullfrog stuffed into a too-small jar that’s been forgotten in the back of a witch’s dilapidated shed.”<\/p>\n
I quibbled with her. “That’s a villanelle. Sestinas are the newts’ eyes in a vat of pickling spices.”<\/p>\n
“Ahhh, my bad,” she replied.<\/p>\n
“They are the six-fingered chameleons needed for the Spell of Madness,” I added.<\/p>\n
“Oh, absolutely!”<\/p>\n
Necia and I have a lot of fun. Irreverent fun, when it comes to some of these mind-bending forms. We love a challenge…dammit.<\/p>\n
Now, having tried the villanelle, the sestina, the ghazal, the ballade and more, and having wrestled each into submission at least once or twice (usually after muttering, “Never again!”), I’ve found that the easiest thing to do is to use an Excel spreadsheet. Forget pen and paper. Forget Word. The last sestina I wrote was called “an engineering marvel” and what engineer doesn’t love a good spreadsheet? I don’t like to hoard the goodies, so I’m sharing this here for my fellow poets. The rest of you can cast your spells using more mundane equipment. You’ll need Excel (Libre Office will probably open this, too).<\/p>\n