{"id":137990235,"date":"2025-01-19T17:27:12","date_gmt":"2025-01-19T23:27:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jahangiri.us\/2020\/?p=137990235"},"modified":"2025-10-26T12:46:37","modified_gmt":"2025-10-26T17:46:37","slug":"we-are-hostage-to-each-other","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jahangiri.us\/2020\/we-are-hostage-to-each-other\/","title":{"rendered":"We Are Hostage to Each Other"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’ve enjoyed social media since the 1980s. Facebook is not the first, nor likely will it be the last, platform to blaze into existence and flame out in a spectacular crash. Or maybe with a slow and whiny-sounding whimper. There is no perfect platform. There is no platform run by perfect people. The world is not inhabited, let alone run by, perfect people. There is no cure for this; humanity will cause its own extinction before we learn to put into practice the aspirational words: “We are better than this.” We could be, but we – not you, of course, but we, as a species – are not. The planet will not miss us any more than we miss Tyrannosaurus Rex<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, we could<\/em> try to make life just a little easier, happier, and more fun for ourselves and each other.<\/p>\n

What gets me is the tired-but-true refrain: “I only stay on Facebook because it’s the only way I have to keep in touch with family and friends.” How unutterably sad. Most of the people saying this have lived long enough to remember a time before Facebook. A time that involved a physical address book, a copy of The White Pages, telephones that were tethered to a wall, paper and envelopes and stamps, along with the occasional in-person visit. How did we let Facebook – of all the – how did it become all those things, to the point where we fear losing the people we care most about if we leave it?<\/p>\n

I think there’s a nagging realization that most of those people wouldn’t even notice if we disappeared, let alone come looking for us. So we stay so that maybe they will keep in touch with us.<\/p>\n

Recently, I created a Facebook Exodus Contact Form and posted it three separate times on my Facebook profile. Out of 2090 Facebook Friends, 20 filled it out and gave me some or all of their contact info so that we could keep in touch if Facebook disappears – or we do. I sent them mine, in return. Missed it? Go look for it; I don’t have many posts left on my profile, so if you’re a friend there, it’ll take you two seconds to find it. I have been on many platforms in the past that simply shut down overnight, and rebuilding your network is hard when the platform is the only place you store your friends’ info.<\/p>\n

This is not, “Oh, woe is me, only twenty people are actually my friends and cared enough to send me their email addresses!” Facebook doesn’t want us to connect off Facebook. In the name of “privacy,” they allow you to sync your contacts on your phone – but just try to save them anywhere! It can’t be done. This is good and<\/strong> bad. They know we only stay to keep in touch, and they like holding a monopoly on the ability to do that.<\/p>\n

Not Jumping on the “Leaving Facebook” Train, Although…<\/h2>\n

I do think it’s funny that “how do I delete facebook” is trending, and in a fit of frustration, last night, I typed “how the hell do I” and Google helpfully supplied “…delete facebook” to the end of that. I did delete my author page, there. It was only bringing in spammers, scammers, and phishermen anyway. Zuckerberg thinks it’s all just “virtue signaling.” What virtue? The folks staying think their business depends on Meta. Or that their friends won’t bother to move elsewhere or bother to keep in touch with them.<\/p>\n

‘Virtue signaling’: Zuckerberg responds to Facebook user exodus reports | Watch<\/a><\/p>\n

Aw, sweetie, no. He hasn’t seen what happened to Twitter or – hell, what was that other Facebook clone’s name?? – or… Yeah, never mind.<\/p>\n

I deleted 99% of my Facebook content from 2007 to today. Why? I don’t know – it wasn’t exactly “evergreen.” And I guess I’m tired of building rich kids’ platform “content” for free. But I started slowly deleting things this last summer, and Facebook Memories keeps demonstrating that Facebook doesn’t honor its own Terms of Service. Or… technically, I guess their terms of service are intentionally confusing and they will never, ever let your stuff go:<\/p>\n

\n
\n
3. Deleting Your Content:<\/span> You can delete individual content you share, post, and upload at any time. In addition, all content posted to your personal account will be deleted if you delete your account. Learn more<\/a> about how to delete your account. Account deletion does not automatically delete content that you post as an admin of a page or content that you create collectively with other users, such as photos in Shared Albums which may continue to be visible to other album members.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\n
It may take up to 90 days to delete content after we begin the account deletion process or receive a content deletion request. If you send content to trash, the deletion process will automatically begin in 30 days unless you chose to delete the content sooner. While the deletion process for such content is being undertaken, the content is no longer visible to other users. After the content is deleted, it may take us up to another 90 days to remove it from backups and disaster recovery systems.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n

If that were true, then Facebook Memories would not be showing me ten-year-old posts that I deleted last year, some of which should have been gone entirely by mid-October 2024. But then, the above provisions are followed by the “We’ll delete your stuff on our own timetable, sucker, and the license you granted us is forever” provision.<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n
Content will not be deleted within 90 days of the account deletion or content deletion process beginning in the following situations:<\/div>\n