{"id":137990459,"date":"2025-05-24T10:52:13","date_gmt":"2025-05-24T15:52:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jahangiri.us\/2020\/?p=137990459"},"modified":"2025-05-24T10:52:13","modified_gmt":"2025-05-24T15:52:13","slug":"popsicles-damn-its-gonna-be-a-long-hot-summer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jahangiri.us\/2020\/popsicles-damn-its-gonna-be-a-long-hot-summer\/","title":{"rendered":"Popsicles? Damn, It&#8217;s Gonna Be a Long, Hot Summer"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;m a woman. A man had to explain these &#8220;rules&#8221; to me. I think they&#8217;re silly, but <a href=\"https:\/\/www.msnbc.com\/top-stories\/latest\/republican-tim-burchett-straws-fox-news-watters-rcna208822\">according to recent headlines<\/a>, they&#8217;re a real thing. Most of the women I know would be satisfied with cleanliness and kindness. But the one about milkshakes? Deadly serious, guys &#8211; leave all the chocolate malts to us women!<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-137990460 size-medium lazyload\" data-src=\"https:\/\/jahangiri.us\/2020\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/toxic-500x625.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"625\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxIiB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciPjwvc3ZnPg==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 500px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 500\/625;\" \/><\/p>\n<p>The straw is pink, guys. Can&#8217;t touch this.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-137990462 size-full lazyload\" data-src=\"https:\/\/jahangiri.us\/2020\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/kashish-lamba-xIZrn-fq8qY-unsplash-scaled.jpg\" alt=\"Books, milkshake with a pink straw, bamboo in a glass jar with stones.\" width=\"2560\" height=\"1707\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/jahangiri.us\/2020\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/kashish-lamba-xIZrn-fq8qY-unsplash-scaled.jpg 2560w, https:\/\/jahangiri.us\/2020\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/kashish-lamba-xIZrn-fq8qY-unsplash-1280x854.jpg 1280w, https:\/\/jahangiri.us\/2020\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/kashish-lamba-xIZrn-fq8qY-unsplash-980x653.jpg 980w, https:\/\/jahangiri.us\/2020\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/kashish-lamba-xIZrn-fq8qY-unsplash-480x320.jpg 480w\" data-sizes=\"(min-width: 0px) and (max-width: 480px) 480px, (min-width: 481px) and (max-width: 980px) 980px, (min-width: 981px) and (max-width: 1280px) 1280px, (min-width: 1281px) 2560px, 100vw\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxIiB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciPjwvc3ZnPg==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 2560px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 2560\/1707;\" \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A man had to explain these &#8220;rules&#8221; to me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":137990461,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_has_post_settings":[],"wds_primary_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,7],"tags":[2742],"hashtags":[],"class_list":["post-137990459","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-poetry","category-writing","tag-atoz2025"],"publishpress_future_action":{"enabled":false,"date":"2026-04-25 14:20:51","action":"change-status","newStatus":"draft","terms":[],"taxonomy":"category","extraData":[]},"publishpress_future_workflow_manual_trigger":{"enabledWorkflows":[]},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jahangiri.us\/2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/137990459","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jahangiri.us\/2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jahangiri.us\/2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jahangiri.us\/2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jahangiri.us\/2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=137990459"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/jahangiri.us\/2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/137990459\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":137990464,"href":"https:\/\/jahangiri.us\/2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/137990459\/revisions\/137990464"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jahangiri.us\/2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/137990461"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jahangiri.us\/2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=137990459"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jahangiri.us\/2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=137990459"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jahangiri.us\/2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=137990459"},{"taxonomy":"hashtags","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jahangiri.us\/2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/hashtags?post=137990459"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}