by Holly Jahangiri | Nov 4, 2021
Locked Out – But Not in Facebook Jail
It happens. You forget your Facebook password – you haven’t had to enter it in six years, but you got a new PC or mobile phone and suddenly you’re being asked for that ancient password. Do they think you’re Sherlock Holmes, with a vault marked “Passwords” somewhere in your Mind Palace?
You admit that you’ve forgotten it and you request a reset. You wait, eager for the email containing the magic link. Then, you remember that the email you used ten years ago is defunct and you refused to give up a modicum of privacy to give Facebook a valid phone number that’s already listed in six online people finder sites.
If you had set up dual authentication or had a set of recovery codes printed and locked up in an actual filing cabinet, you’d be fine. But now Facebook is telling you that it won’t let you in without three forms of government ID, a utility bill, your last rent or mortgage statement, and a DNA sample. Don’t bother. It’s a black hole into which all your proof of ID falls – and nothing happens. This is where you compromise your privacy and proof of ID for no return whatsoSay good-bye to the last decade of your Facebook life, including any Groups or Pages you own, unless you had a trusted Admin who can give you Admin privileges and reassign ownership to you.
At this point, Facebook helpfully suggests you open a new account.
STOP! It’s a trap. Oh, it’s fine to open a new account, but there are a few things you need to do before sending your first Friend Request.
First, open that account. Choose a “friendly name” (if Facebook lets you) that resembles your actual name (without any spelling errors) or your high school nickname if it’s not too humiliating.
Add a new Profile picture that is different from your old one. Ideally, use a recent headshot that shows the real, recognizable you. It wouldn’t hurt to hold up a copy of today’s newspaper with the date prominently shown in the photo. Why? Because cloned accounts often steal public photos that you’ve posted in the past, and your Profile pic is usually public.
Add a cover image. This photo should show your personality, but should neither be too close to your core identity or too generic. OK – generic is fine, here. Use your own camera to take a photo of the wood grain on your desk. Include any identifying coffee rings and unique tchotchkes; you can use different photos at other angles to prove you are you, later.
IMPORTANT: Avoid using any of the following: patriotic images, treacly “inspirational” photos/quotations, military images, pictures of guns, images showing conspicuous wealth, religious images, children, winsome family pets, or free stock images. Why? These are used by and sought after by imposters. Get into the habit of assuming a few things that may or may not be true:
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- “Military man” in officer’s uniform with numorous decorations on his chesticles: Probably seeks connection with people who have relatives in the military. Looks for flags, eagles, military logos, photos of folks in uniform. Remember: Loose lips sink ships! Try a reverse image search. Play “Who’s that Admiral?”
- “Military man” in fatigues, blowing shit up: See above, only now you can assume that they’ve assumed your military connections are all enlisted, not officers. Or that you love men who blow shit up and have ready access to lots and lots of firepower. “Hey, ‘bro – wanna hang out at the gun range, some time? I just need to move $900,000,000 and travel to wherever you are, first. Where are you?”
- “Single/divorced/widowed man with sad eyes, holding small child or puppy on lap”: Ordinary phisher. Appeals to loneliness and kindness. Poor, tragic soul. Probably a teenager overseas, using his one hour at the local internet cafe to try and score a few hundred bucks from idiots in the USA. Real romantic prospects don’t cold DM anyone with “Hey, beautiful” or “what u up to babeeee”.
- “Man holding cocktail in/in front of his private yacht/jet/exclusive resort, inviting you to join him with his bedroom eyes”: Oh, please. This is the gold digger version of the previous type. They just think you’ll be more likely to bite if you think his prospects of paying you back with exorbitant interest, later, are better. The guy can transfer his own money out of the country on his boat or plane, unless it’s drug money. If it’s drug money, you don’t want any part of that.
- “Girl taking selfies of her impossibly round ass or boobs in a truck stop bathroom mirror”: Do you men get any variety at all? Do they even try? I get one of these women about every 12th attempt. I didn’t fall for “sad, rich single dad on a yacht”? Maybe I’m a lesbian. Send truck stop girl. I figure they’ll just keep baiting the hook with different worms to see if I’ll ever bite. I am a little insulted that no one has sent me a “Professor buried under a mountain of books in the university library archives” yet.
Seriously, no man or woman worth spit cold DMs a stranger with “Hey beautiful” or “ur pic make me so [adjective] I wan to [obscene verb] you.” But apparently, the flattery and the appeal to empathy/pity/abject horniness work all too well or they’d have given it up a decade ago. So just try not to bait the hook if this isn’t the kind of fish you want to catch.
Do all of the things outlined in this post: So You’re NOT Leaving Facebook? Do not even post on your Facebook wall before taking care of your account settings!
Post one explanatory post on your wall: Why did you start a new Facebook account? Be honest here. Did you forget your password? Were you locked out? Was your old account hacked? (Be sure you understand the difference between “hacked” – taken over by someone else, who can log into the original account, post to it, etc. – and “cloned” – where someone steals your public data and creates a whole NEW account (like you just did, here) to impersonate you. There’s a big difference.) Do not start sending out Facebook Friend Requests just yet!
Find 5-10 real life family members or friends who are known to your other friends and known to be “social media wary.” In other words, the sort that would never accept a Friend Request on the strength of “Mutual Friends” alone. Ask them to post on your wall first, explaining why you opened a new account and asking other relatives and friends to contact them if they have any doubts or questions. Make sure that these people know what’s going on.
Wait 24 to 72 hours. Allow others to send you Friend Requests, but do not start sending them out to all your former connections. Talk to people you know. Go ahead and post to your Profile, and the more you sound like yourself, the better.
Slowly start sending Friend Requests. Start with people you know best, and work outwards towards acquaintances. ENCOURAGE “Mutual Friends” to check with one another before accepting any Friend Requests.
Locked Out – In Facebook Jail
Wait it out. Seriously, just wait it out. Appeal your sentence. Rattle your virtual tin cup against the jail cell bars. Sing loudly and off key. Blog – now is a great time to start your own blog and focus on building a website that you control, rather than donating free content to the Mark Zuckerberg Empire. Think about why you need – IF you need – Facebook at all.
Try
https://www.facebook.com/help/contact/801409666590556
Notice that question about AdSense, on the form? Odds are, if you aren’t a Business User, you’ll be met with resounding silence. Facebook Support is not there to help you. It’s barely there to help people who earn it revenue. You’re the product, not the customer. Abandon hope.
Whatever you do, though, do not get scammed into paying a third party “provider” to help you hack your way back into your own account on Facebook. There are thousands of those. As one friend of mine said, recently, “Where there is prey, there are predators.” Just tweet “I’m locked out of my Facebook account” on Twitter, and you’ll see. Just say “no.” Because whatever they’re proposing to do to “help” you will get you in (more) trouble for violating Facebook’s Terms of Service, and will just cost you money. Money that would be better spent on building your own website where you can complain at length about Facebook – or, better yet, ignore Facebook completely, right?
by Holly Jahangiri | Oct 31, 2021
P.T. Barnum Was Right About Us All
“There’s a sucker born every minute.”
― P.T. Barnum
“Nobody ever lost a dollar by underestimating the taste of the American public.”
― P.T. Barnum
I know, I know – you’d leave Facebook, if only your beloved great-aunt Mildred, your third cousin Raymond (thrice removed), and all the “Friends” you swore you’d see in Hell before ever speaking to them again weren’t there, but you cannot abandon them and they’re just too stubborn, lazy, or apathetic to try yet-another-new-internet-thingy. We are all codependent enablers, hooked on social media platforms that will slowly erode civilization as we know it. Facebook is the Hotel California: “You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.”
You can, however, find yourself in Facebook Jail.
You can be locked out of your account, with no real recourse. Don’t bother sending proof of ID to Facebook; they’ll simply ignore it, unless you’re a celebrity with an entourage of highly-paid lawyers and publicists. Besides, you have no idea where you’re really sending your ID, your utility bills, your proof of residence, do you? It could be some underpaid, overworked, psychologically abused moderator in a distant country who has finally had just about enough of Facebook users and corporate nonsense. Seriously, don’t bother.
You can find your public photos being stolen, you account being cloned, and your friends being phished by impersonators. Some part of me feels that if my friends don’t know me well enough to spot egregiously bad spelling and grammar, and interrogate imposters until they turn themselves in and beg for mercy, then good enough for ’em if they find their bank accounts wiped out, one day. But no – we are all just one cup of caffeine short of a bad decision, some days. The ones I worry most about are the ones who are 100% sure they can’t possibly be fooled – but don’t even know the term “social engineering” and still think guys in the Cayman Islands are “hitting on them.” Or that girls admiring their own airbrushed asses in a truck stop bathroom mirror are just waiting, bosoms heaving, for their call.
You can find your real account being reported by well-meaning friends who know there are three imposter clones out there but can’t be bothered to verify which URL is being used by which “person.” Or you can find yourself on the wrong end of some social media bully who doesn’t like something you’ve said. Report is both a useful tool and a nasty weapon.
If you’ve considered all of this and still don’t think Facebook is more trouble than it’s worth, at least take an hour or so to batten down the hatches and secure your account – and keep your friends safer, while you’re at it. Do these things:
Protect Your Friends
Lock Down Your Friends List
One of the best things you can do to protect your Facebook Friends is to lock down who can see your friends list. Visit
https://www.facebook.com/settings?tab=privacy
and under Who can see your friends list? select Only me. This is not 100% foolproof, and God knows, every time you foolproof a thing, God builds a better fool. But it will slow down the phishers of men somewhat. At least they’ll only be able to see your “Mutual Friends,” which also means that when some imposter sends you a Friend request, you will be able to see which of your friends need a referral to this blog post. Friends don’t let friends carelessly skip through life unprotected.
Be Wary of New Friend Requests
If a real life friend sends you a Friend request right after you’ve talked, odds are pretty good it’s the real deal. Still, it never hurts to message them and double check.
If you aren’t entirely sure that request is from your friend, do the following:
- Check to see if your real friend by the same or similar name is already listed as your Friend on Facebook.
- Visit their Profile. Have they posted recently? Can they still access their primary account (the one you’re already friends with)?
- Can you reach them using that original account by Messenger, email, or phone to see if they’ve been locked out and started a new account?
Once you are sure that the imposter account is an imposter, please Report it and let your friend know. Make absolutely sure that you are reporting the imposter account, not your friend’s original account!! This is very important.
To report an imposter account (yours or a Friend’s), complete the following steps:
- On Android:
- Visit the friend’s Profile. Click the … next to the Message button. About halfway down, you will see <Friend name>’s Profile link. Jot it down or remember it. Do not report this one!
- Next, visit the imposter’s Profile. Click the … next to the Message button. About halfway down, you will see <Friend name>’s Profile link. Take a screenshot. Now, click Find support or report profile. Under Please select a problem, tap Pretending to Be Someone.
- Follow the prompts to select the appropriate options. (Friends listed will only show those you are actually connected to, but be very careful, once again – if you have accidentally accepted an imposter Friend request and both accounts use the same profile picture, this is very risky.)
- On a PC, the steps are the same but you can see the Profile link in the browser address bar. If you have low vision and time is not of the essence, this may be the safer option – to use a larger screen.
Do a Security Audit & Update on Your Facebook Profile
The purpose of the completing the following steps is twofold: First, to prevent unwanted and unauthorized access to your Facebook account; and second, to ensure that you have access to your data and your own Facebook account, should you forget your password or get locked out.
Do give Facebook an accurate and up-to-date email address and phone number in your security settings, but also keep your password secure and updated. Your email address and phone number are, generally speaking, a matter of public record – stubbornly refusing to give them to Facebook is just a good way to make account recovery more problematic – if not impossible – for you, at some point.
While you’re in your Facebook settings, Designate a Legacy contact under Memorialization Settings just in case you die, so they can go in and post a prominent note that you’re dead and tell Facebook to stop notifying friends of your death by sending them reminders to wish you a happy birthday. I hope to God you have better things to do, in the hereafter, than to check Facebook. Choose someone who uses Facebook and understands your wishes. (You may or may not want to give a family member this added burden; mine is a friend who would consult family at the appropriate time, but who will look after my stupid social media crap — er, account — in the meantime.) You can just say, “Burn it. Burn it with fire.” This will give a trusted contact authorization to do so, when the time comes.
Turn Your Facebook Posts into WordPress Blog Posts!
Or simply export your photos to an external cloud storage service.
- https://www.facebook.com/tyi
- Click Next.
- Choose destination. From the drop-down list, select the service you want to export your posts, notes, or photos to (e.g., Blogger, Dropbox, WordPress, Google Photos, Photobucket, Google Docs, and more).
- Choose what to transfer. You will be notified of the types of data that can be transferred to the selected service, as well as any limitations. For example: “Due to technical limitations, a maximum of 100 posts can be transferred to Blogger. If you need to transfer more than 100 posts, please choose another destination. Please note the process automatically selects your most recent posts for transfer.”
- Connect to authorize the transfer of information from Facebook to another service. You will need to re-enter your passwords to confirm.
- Start transfer. Return to https://www.facebook.com/tyi to see the progress and any previous transfers you have made.
- Check that the data has successfully been transferred to the other service before deleting any of it from Facebook.
by Holly Jahangiri | Jun 24, 2021
It’s easy to write “100 Things About Me.” But almost a dozen years ago, I was challenged to write “100 Good Things About Me.” Let this serve as an introduction to newcomers, here, as well as a list of affirmations. If you prefer a visual intro, click here. When you’re done reading, why not write your own version?
100 GOOD Things (in No Particular Order, Plus a Few Bonuses!)
113. I rejoined Toastmasters, almost a year ago. I’m no longer terrified of public speaking, and have even been paid to do it. But as clubs make the shift to online meetings, my experience in working from home and using teleconferencing software is a plus. My focus, now, is to help my club and its members to achieve their goals.
112. With the proper motivation, I am finally learning how to sew.
111. I grew “accidental” turnip greens from a forgotten turnip on my counter; last night, I harvested and sautéed them, served them with rice and salmon. Next time, it won’t be an accident!
110. I’m terrified of spiders, but have become the Protector of the Spiny Orb Weavers in our yard. Their webs are annoying to anyone doing yard work (mostly my husband) but I make him let them have their breakfast before (gently) dismantling them so he doesn’t get a faceful of spider, sticky silk, and dead flies.
109. I tried snorkeling and SCUBA diving for the first time in 2018. Next up: Indoor parachuting. (Hate free-fall, love flying without a net!)
108. I have learned to keep a few houseplants and an herb garden alive, and in the process, I’ve taken up recycling and composting to better nourish them. And, apparently, a whole community of tree roaches.
107. After several decades in technical writing, I changed careers and became a data scientist, with a focus on NLP and text analytics. Always stay curious and keep learning new things.
106. I wrote A New Leaf for Lyle, illustrated by the amazing artist, Carrie Salazar, in 2013.
105. With a little trial and error, and a lot of determination, I got that whippet geometry figured out. Next up: Cat Calculus. [Update 4/8/2020: I managed to create a cat sweater that seems to function similarly to “clipnosis.” Cat falls down, stays put. I’m not seeing the downside, but perhaps the cat is lazy and the sweater is too restrictive.]
104. I learned to crochet. I can make scarves, hats, bulky sweaters… but the geometry of a whippet is still giving me fitting fits.
103. I can’t count. No, seriously – 103 is “I love words like ‘infinite’ and ‘limitless‘ and ‘inclusive.'” I dislike arbitrary limits. My 100 has grown a little over the years – so sue me.
102. I’m afraid of bugs, but I joined Boy Scouts with my son and went on the family camp-out with his troop. I went on a 5 and 1/2 mile hike with him in the woods – and let him lead. Typical man: He never once stopped and asked for directions. Didn’t need to – he knew how to use a compass and a map! In 2008, I swallowed my fear and hesitation to go camping with my son and some long-time friends at Lassen Volcanic National Park and hiking at Multnomah Falls!
101. I can spell “onomatopoeia” and “floccinaucinihilipilification” and “eleemosynary” without looking them up. I needed my husband’s help to finally get “broccoli” planted in my brain, once and for all, though. I was smart enough to marry a smart man.
100. I am confident, but not arrogant.
99. I really believe that “pretty is as pretty does.” Actions speak louder than words, and you can’t dress up ugly-on-the-inside.
98. I’m generous, even if I am a selfish only child who never had to share.
97. I’m loyal.
96. I can keep others’ secrets, but I have precious few of my own.
95. I’m honest to a fault, but I can tell a “little white lie” when the truth would do nothing but hurt.
94. I’m easy to please.
93. Patience is not one of my virtues, but ask anyone I’ve taught to do anything, and they’ll tell you I’m very patient. I have patience for those who try, sincerely.
92. I’m a good cook, when I bother to be.
91. I’m empathetic. By that, I mean not only can I imagine myself in someone else’s place, I can feel it – physically as well as emotionally. I don’t shut that off to protect myself, but I have learned to distance myself from the chronically miserable – the folks who enjoy their misery and really don’t want anything but someone to share in it.
90. When I love, I love deeply and forever. I’m not obsessive and weird about it, though. I just don’t say the word “love” if I don’t mean it.
89. I’m a good driver. I hate dealing with heavy traffic and crowds, but I don’t trust anyone more than me to drive my kids anywhere.
87. I’m calm in a crisis.
86. I’m a good problem-solver.
85. I don’t really have much of a temper, and there are only a few things in life I’d bother holding a grudge over. I get angry; I get over it.
84. I’m a fiercely protective mama tiger. I once killed a wasp with my bare hands, because it had the sheer effrontery to be in my baby’s room. I’m terrified of wasps. But in that moment, it could just as well have been a Bengal tiger or a flea – and it had to die.
83. So long as they’re not threatening my children’s well-being, I love animals. I just wish the possum that now visits me once or twice a week on my back porch hadn’t figured that out. I’d like him (or her) to think I’m a mean sonofabitch.
82. I will try any food – once. There are few foods I’ve tried that I don’t like. (Buttermilk, rosewater, doogh, kashk, beef liver, fried chicken liver – that pretty much covers it, I think.) Actually, there’s a rule in our house: You can’t say “Ewwww, yuck, gross!” unless you’ve actually tasted it. However, you can say, “I’m not quite ready to try that just yet.” I’m not sure I see the point of eating something to prove your machismo (of course, I’m a girl – I have no machismo to prove, and that’s fine by me). I ought to amend that item, though – I am no longer willing to try certain foods that carry an unacceptable risk of disease (brain matter, eyeballs – CJD) or injury/death (fugu, scorpion stingers) – I mean, when I said “try any food” I really was thinking of things typically regarded by a large number of people AS food (that even included things like sheep’s eyeballs, at the time – you know, things like tripe and haggis). Only lately have I heard of things like eating live scorpions, or worse, live monkey’s brains. Nooooooo… to me, that’s just not “food.” That’s a sick sort of entertainment, maybe, but not “food.”
81. I’m pretty adventurous, but not foolhardy. I love to live life to the fullest, and encourage others to try new things.
80. I’m smart, but I have Swiss-cheese holes in my brain that keep me humble about it.
79. I appreciate the talents and abilities of others. I don’t always tell them just how much, but I’m working on that because it matters.
78. I write well. There’s always room for improvement (and what fun would there be in it if there weren’t?) but I write well enough to clearly express my ideas without frustration, and that gives me pleasure.
77. I’ve given birth to two gorgeous, intelligent, amazing children. Nothing I could create now would equal or exceed this accomplishment, and I’m okay with that.
76. I do know when to let go, when push comes to shove.
75. I can’t magically heal all wounds with a kiss. But I’ve learned how to apply a bandage, drive to the ER in just under four minutes, and distract a kid from pain and worry with a hug and a kiss and the knowledge that I won’t leave their side until they’re well.
74. I’m not jealous (not much, anyway) when the kids say Daddy’s grilled cheese sandwich is as good as mine. After all, I’m the one who taught them about tact and diplomacy.
73. I’m a material girl, but if the house burned down tomorrow and my family got out safely, I’d be okay.
72. I don’t wear make-up except on special occasions. I have healthy skin.
71. I wear sensible shoes that make my feet feel good (all the better to chase my children in!) – not spiked heels that make my calves look sexy.
70. I love my husband. But, best of all, he loves me. We’ll celebrate 35 years of marriage, this year, and are looking forward to the next 35 or 40.
69. I’m a good mother. Not a perfect, Donna-Reed-type mother, but a good one, nonetheless.
68. I love my children unconditionally, even when I wish I loved them less. I love them unconditionally, even when they say “I hate you!” (Which they never do, now that they’re all grown up!)
67. I am a lousy housekeeper, but I’ve learned there are more important things in life, so I no longer beat myself up over it or post armed guards at the door when the house isn’t “presentable.” I’ve discovered that most people I know are a mess, which only means we’re now welcome in each others’ homes on a moment’s notice.
66. I have a good eye for composition, and take interesting photographs. I’m not always as discriminating as I should be when I share them. There probably were not 800 great photos of Istanbul and Paris, but by God, I uploaded them all to Ofoto and sent everyone links, believing they’d enjoy them. (I apparently have a crappy memory. Ofoto?? Does that even still exist? I don’t even remember writing this.)
65. Some of my photos are selling as stock photography, right alongside professionals’ work. This has made me remember what it’s like to be a struggling, amateur writer and get that first acceptance note. It’s gratifying, humbling, and quite pleasing.
64. I love to teach and mentor others. I don’t mind at all – in fact, I’m quite pleased – when their skills and successes surpass my own.
63. I can be very intense and driven when a project piques my interest, but aggressively advancing my career is not a project that interests me right now. I manage to keep a fairly healthy balance between work and personal life.
62. When I volunteer to do something, I’m committed to seeing it through.
61. I work best with tight but reasonable deadlines.
60. I generally give people the benefit of the doubt. I’m honest enough to admit to my prejudices, but open-minded enough to put them aside and give everyone a chance.
59. I have never intentionally hurt anyone’s feelings.
58. I don’t pick at my food and complain the portions are too big. I know how to enjoy a meal when I’m hungry, I know how to stop eating when I’m satisfied, and I’m not embarrassed to ask for a to-go box.
57. I finished reading Anna Karenina. I didn’t skip the chapters about Levin. That took discipline! I do read the first couple of pages and the last couple of pages from any book I pick up, then decide if I give a damn how they got from A to Z. If I do, I read the book. Knowing the ending rarely, if ever, spoils the story for me.
56. I am a fast reader, and I inhale books. (My breathing, lately, has been a little shallow.)
55. I’m a good swimmer.
54. I do a beautiful back-dive. (Unfortunately, I haven’t dipped a toe into a pool with a diving board in over 10 years.)
53. I’ve traveled to many places in the world. I’ve never really felt like a tourist, even though I was one. I’ve felt…accepted, almost without exception.
52. I make a great cup of coffee.
51. I make a pretty decent cup of tea, too.
50. I can whistle a tune. I can sometimes whistle “Westminster Cathedral,” but not on a hot, dry day. (And not when I’m laughing hysterically, which is something I’m apt to do if I start whistling in public.)
49. I can blow bubbles with bubblegum.
48. I enjoy a good water-gun-and-hose fight with my son.
47. I have thick hair that’s naturally blonde. I’d go naturally gray, but it’s more fun to play with color. I don’t mind the gray hairs, though; I never pull them out. I’m actually rather proud of them; I earned each and every one. (I spent nearly $100, several years ago, to have my hair dyed to match my roots, in order to go gray naturally. It grew out ash blonde. I got bored waiting for more gray to show up, and started coloring it again.)
46. I give great advice. Proving, once again, that it’s better to give than to receive.
45. I’m trustworthy.
44. I tend to “see” personalities before I really see people. As a result, appearances don’t matter much to me, unless there’s something especially off-putting about them.
43. I’m 50+ – I’ve lived half a century, or as my mom used to say, “I’m older than some trees.” I’m not at all embarrassed to admit my age in public. I don’t want to be pushed aside, careerwise, due to age or gender, though. I’m not sure my kids are quite ready to support me – nor should they have to!
42. I see similarities before I see differences. The similarities give us common ground; the differences keep things interesting.
41. I have a good job. Most days, I like it and most days, I do it well. [Update 4/8/2020: I’m retired, as of 3/31/2020. Of course, that doesn’t mean I’ve run out of interesting work – it means I’m returning to my roots, writing more creative fiction.]
40. I don’t have any real regrets.
39. I will stubbornly stand on a matter of principle.
38. I’m not easily intimidated. I do tend to come across as intimidating, but usually to the wrong people.
37. I can have strong opinions and values without feeling threatened by hearing and considering other points of view. I enjoy a good, intellectual debate, and I’m not afraid to think I might be wrong, or admit it if I realize that I am.
36. I am quick to apologize when I’m wrong. (Apologies are a great way to disarm a foe; unfortunately, I think we all get worse at giving them as we age. My theory on that is that we’re owed a lot of them that we never got, and by God, we’re just going to hang onto our store of them until we get the ones we’ve got coming to us. How stupid is that?)
35. I am strong, but not rigid. Strength, without flexibility, tends to crack or break.
34. I have a sense of humor. Hell, I even found reasons to laugh over having cancer.
33. I appreciate the talents in others. My grandmother once said “I used to think I had no talent. Then I realized I had the greatest talent of all, the ability to truly appreciate the talents in others.” She was a wise woman, and a very talented one.
32. I love to sing, and I have a pretty voice. I just find it horribly embarrassing to sing in front of other people, so only my showerhead and a few random motorists have heard me sing in several decades.
31. I give good backrubs.
30. I chose my husband wisely and well. I considered my mother’s advice: (1) “If our approval or disapproval would sway your decision to marry a man, then he’s not the man you need to be spending the rest of your life with; (2) “You don’t just marry the man, you marry his family.” Yep, I chose well.
29. I don’t drink often or to excess. I don’t enjoy being drunk, nor does it heighten my creativity.
28. I don’t take illegal drugs and have absolutely no interest in ever doing so.
27. I’m not a prude and I’m not without a vice or two. (In 2006, I listed smoking and cursing – but quit smoking that year and I’ve cut way down on the cursing, so now what? Um…I procrastinate and I’m a clutterbug?) I’m listing this among my “100 Good Things About Me,” because it’s one of those things that keeps me humble and human and able to be kind to other imperfect human beings.
26. I have faith. It’s gleaned from personal intuition and the best of many religious traditions, and it is constantly evolving. It’s flexible enough to consider all possibilities within the realm of God, and strong enough to leave me impervious to fanatics and cults.
25. I’ve never tried to “convert” anyone to my beliefs, because one of my beliefs is that we all come to our own faith in time and through experience – not through being told how we should think and how we should believe, or by being frightened into it by others’ visions of eternal damnation.
24. I have a nice butt. (That’s actually my husband’s contribution, but I have the self-confidence and sense of humor to include it.)
23. I’m not a mean person. (That’s his, too.)
22. If I’m having a hard time coming up with 100 good things about me, I’d probably have a harder time coming up with 100 bad things about me. 100 interesting things about me, or 100 slightly-eccentric things about me, or 100 cool and offbeat things I’ve done – those would be easier.
21. I’m not afraid of the dark.
20. I’m not superstitious.
19. I’m very trusting, until I’m given reasons not to be.
18. I’m an avid reader.
17. I’m a fast reader. The downside to that, combined with #18, is that I spend entirely too much money on books.
16. I hate to shop, and I’m not all caught up on what’s “fashionable,” “trendy,” or “in style.” Classic is classic for a reason. (That said, I do realize I can’t elevate jeans to the level of “classic style” just because I’m too lazy to explore the rest of my wardrobe or add to it, some days.)
15. I like to inspire and encourage others.
14. I have become much more punctual over the years. I procrastinate something awful, but I’m almost always on time, and rarely miss a deadline.
13. I have sensitive hearing, and I try to protect it. This is really amazing, considering all the ear infections I had as a kid and young adult. Never had tubes, but had my adenoids out twice.
12. I’m a good listener. I don’t always remember what was said, but I’m a good listener.
11. I have a lousy memory and a tendency to repeat myself. This is a good thing only in that I’m aware of it, and never give anyone else a hard time for doing the same. I do sometimes step on the punch line of old jokes, but better that than trying to fake laughter and pretend I never heard the joke. Of course I can’t remember half the jokes I’ve heard until they get to the punch line, so I’m usually willing to listen to the same ones over and over again. 645! (Yeah, I know…some people just can’t tell a joke.)
10. I’m computer literate. I once swore I’d have nothing whatsoever to do with computers – they were “borrrrrring.” Now I write user’s manuals for PCs and software. My third grade teacher, the one who wrote on my report card “antisocial, doesn’t pay attention, doesn’t follow directions” would no doubt have a cow if she knew what I did for a living.
9. I’m not antisocial. I love solitude. But I like people just fine, if they’re nice people. (INTJ, D on a DiSC, A-)
8. I can always entertain myself.
7. I don’t judge people on what kind of car they drive, what kind of house they live in, how much money they make, or how they dress. I don’t judge people on how much education they attained, but a natural curiosity, innate intelligence, and a desire to learn more always gains a few points in my estimation.
6. I can BS my way through almost any sort of essay question, but I’m having a damned hard time with the last five items in this list!
5. I have walked over 100 miles for charity in my lifetime.
4. I have donated about 5 gallons of blood, and I’m on the bone marrow registry.
3. I’m not afraid to talk to anyone, regardless of position or rank. (I am afraid to crash a sit-down dinner for celebrities when there’s an armed guard at the door, but that’s…different.)
2. I have always talked to my children. Not baby-talk, but full sentences with eye contact. This never struck me as unusual or special, but according to the caregivers at my son’s first daycare, it’s rather exceptional.
1. I am me. And that is good enough.
Now, why don’t you tell me 100 good things about you? Feel free to post a link to your journal entry here.
