Your Call is Important to Us So Thank You for Your (im)Patience

Robert BrewerHow do I answer my Samsung phone from the lock screen?

Customer Support

First, you’ll press the power button. That
almost perfect circle – yes, the one that’s giving you 
the middle finger just for thinking that you could—
yes, there you go. Now wait. And count to ten
no? It’s the proverbial “watched pot.” Look away. 

Now, go get coffee. A sluggish old PC might
benefit from liberal application of caffeine.
Ask me how I know. I’m a pro.
Just pour it in between the letters H and O
and T. It should be hot. Hear it sizzle?

No? Let’s troubleshoot the thing.
Grab another cup of joe—this time for you—
we’ll have another go at this. Rinse
the unit, and repeat. Now what do you see
upon the screen? It’s black? Not blue?

Ahh, the blue is you, you say. The thing
won’t do the things you want it to. 
Perhaps we can repurpose it—I hear
that Frisbee golf is all the rage, and they
accept the odd, misshapen parallelogram—

What’s that, you say? Rectangular—I see.
My Supervisor’s busy helping others but
your call’s of paramount importance to our company
I’ll transfer you, just count to three. 
Our AI ChatBot’s more prepared for this than me.